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Friday, May 28, 2010

Chapter 69 of my Life

Chapter 69

A Turning Point in my Life

Back in 2001 I met a guy at the gay church I was attending. His name was David. David and I pretty much hit it off as friends. We talked almost every day.

One day we got on the discussion of Religion. He is a Mormon and I am Baptist. Two different Religions all together. We came up with this great idea to go to each others churches to see what they taught, how the services were things of that nature. Then we decided that the next Sunday we would go to Davids Church.

I told him that we have got to act straight. He agreed completely. David then added that he did not want anyone to know about him being gay. He said he did not want to be excommunicated. I said and I don't want anyone to call my father.

Sunday Morning came quickly, I was up and getting ready for church. I put on a nice pair of pants, and a shirt and tie. (as I was getting ready, I was super nervous) I mean we are going to his real church, we have to act straight. ( I have not acted straight in over 2 years)

I go and pick David up and we head out to his church. I remember pulling into the church parking lot with my hands shaking, sweaty palms, I tried to wipe off before we walk in. We walked a good foot apart towards the door of the church. We go in and there in the Lobby was some of Davids church friends. David introduced me to all of them, and then said come along, I am going to introduce you to the Elder. It took us sometime to find him, but we finally did, the Elder stood up and hugged David, he said its been over a year since I saw you. They started talking, while I walked up and down the hall. I figured they need their space.

We head into their sanctuary, we found an open spot and set down next to each other. Their service was long, 3 hours later we was walking to the car. (I wont bore you with all the detail, but we made it fine with out a problem)

David and I talked on the way back to his house about the service. As we pulled up to his house, I said don't forget next Sunday. He smiled and said I wont.


Saturday night I call my Father, I told him that David and I were going to go to his old church. (I always give him a heads up with my dealings with my home church, I don't want to disrespect him)

Sunday Morning comes, I get up and get ready and I am more nervous than I was last Sunday. I go and pick David up and I drive us to My Church. Again while I was parking the car, my hands were sweaty and I was wiping them off. I knew as soon as we step foot in the door, I would be doing a lot of hand shaking. I told David I don't think I can do this. He said sure you can we will be fine. We did alright at my church. I agreed and we left the car.

Sure enough once inside, people were coming out of the wood work to see me. (its like going home)

The service was getting ready to start, everyone was moving towards the Sanctuary, we go with the flow and enter and found ourselves a seat. We sat down next to each other. At the end of the service, we got up and headed out to the lobby so that I could catch up with everyone. David was by my side the entire time. This is how I introduced him:This is my friend David, he is a Mormon and wanted to see what our church was like. Everyone was nice to us, most of them wanted to know about Dad, how he was doing etc. Even the Pastor came over and asked. I enjoyed seeing everyone. It was nice.

On the way out of the building, I lost my balance and bumped into David, our shoulders met and he nudged me back. (most know that I was born handicapped and I have very poor balance.)

We leave the church and we discussed the service and what all went on. I drove him back home and I headed home myself.

About 7pm the phone rings, (no caller ID)

Me: Hello

Caller said: What did you two do at that church?! (It was my Father)

Me: Went in met everyone, listened to the pastor, chit chatted with everyone, and headed home.

Father: That is not what I heard!
As he spoke, the sound of his voice was a mixture of anger, disappointment, and confusion. (I felt my knees give out and I fell to the floor) He said he just hung up the phone with the Pastor. The pastor told my Father, that I was gay and that I took my boyfriend to church and we were hanging all over each other, kissing and to top it off, GROPING each other.

Me: (trying to catch my breath)

Father: Son are you there?

Me: Yes, I am and we did no such thing!

Father: There is more...

Me: what?

Father: The Pastor does not want you in his church anymore. You are banned.

Me: WHAT!?!

As soon as I hung up the phone I called the Pastor, no answer.

I called him for over a week, until I got him. I asked why he told my father those lies? He said you are banned from this church, do not come back. He then hung up on me.

That day caused me never to go to any church. I figured if this pastor will tell my Father a bold faced lie, then what would stop others from doing the same. So I quit going to church, even though I still felt like I needed to go.

My Father asks me all the time, if I found a church yet? I always say no.


Lynda said...

Okay, Allen, you know what the Scriptures say about offending and millstones hung around the neck - - - and also teachers (pastors) being held to a higher accountability. You know, too, that pastor has to stand before THE Judge when his day comes. He will have to pay for how he offended you and also your dad. Just remember, Allen, to keep your eyes on Jesus and not men. All people are sinners and can never be the best reflection of Christ. But you and I know that there really ARE good Christians in this world who are encouragers. Those are the ones you want to surround you. Don't let people discourage you from the faith. Satan doesn't deserve that victory.

Cubby said...

Oh Allen, this story is making me cry. I cannot believe sometimes what this world is coming to.

It's all about power. In order to exert power over the masses the church needs to rally the people against an enemy, and the enemy they have chosen is us: gay folks.

Private worship is answer. Organized religion has lost its way.

Pat said...

How sad that a "person of the cloth" can be so narrow-minded, AND a liar to boot! You know the truth, as do the people who were there. The Pastor will have to answer to God for his lies.

God welcomes everyone into his place of worship.

I know a little how you feel. I had a somewhat similar experience. My second husband, Jim, and I got married in a Methodist church, even though the two of us are Catholic. Why? Because we both had been divorced and that's not allowed in the Catholic church without an Annulment.(Granted by the Tribunal board - made up of Church dignitaries and such who "yea" or "nay" the annulment based on one of 7 reasons.) Anyway, I registered at a Catholic church when we moved back to IL (in the late 80's). One question asked if I got married in a Catholic church and I put down "no". They questioned me further, I answered the truth and was brought before the Pastor. He was very upset with me and basically told me that I was going to hell with all the other divorced people in the world. This, all because I married a man, who was Catholic, and we were raising our kids CATHOLIC. I got divorced because my FIRST husband, who was LUTHERAN, left me, PREGNANT, for another woman. So, yeah, I feel your pain!

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